Dear Universe

I have had a bad day.

Not your regular I-was-late-for-work-and-everything-went-wrong kind of day. More like I-don't understand-people-anymore-and-sometimes-I-just-don't-know-what's-wrong-with-me type.

Maybe there is nothing wrong with me. Maybe there is something wrong with you. Universe, please unconspire yourself against me. I know I've been good. Why are you hurting me? Am I this despicable? Am I that boring?

You and I had some fun times in our days. Why are you doing this?

Please feel free to shoot me(.) a note.

Thanks!

First Blog

Jan 4. New week, new quarter, new year.

So my friends and I met last weekend and decided to take a trip to Sagada by February. I always knew that I'd be back. The first time I was there I swore to get a house there once I can afford it. I still can't afford it but it would be nice to rekindle that feeling of genuine love for the place. It's one of the few places in the Philippines I would want to spend my dying days in. The way I remember it is just magical. I visited Sagada back in college with my Anthropology class and we had the best time. We scheduled the trip to coincide with the town fiesta and people were just everywhere. I admire the small town ambience of the place. I also remember the smell of the town.

So I'm pretty psyched about that. My friend Lene would be leaving to work in another country anytime within the first quarter so we really have to make our scheds work and do an out of town trip soon. I will miss her.

I feel like I missed the holidays. It went by so fast that I was not able to actually feel the holiday spirit except for the part where people were crazy shopping for gifts. That's that.

I have tons of things to think about this year. I really need to start clearing out my room of stuff I don't need. I need to get on the treadmill more. I need to be more organized and focused on tasks. I need to learn how to manage my money better. And most of all, I need to get back on track with my MA. Come to think of it, with this amount of things to think about, this year may very well just go fly out the window before I even recognize it. Crazy.

Well, I need to start on it. Getting my haircut today. Going to work tonight. Oh, and I promise to do more blogging this year. =)

Note to Self: Christmas Week is Shopping-in-Hell Week

Lesson learned. I promise myself never to wait until Christmas week again to do all my shopping.

I never really had a problem with shopping for gifts for the holidays before. I'm not sure what happened. Everything felt stressful and intense and people were not happy. Getting a cab home was a pain in itself and something I would never wish for anyone.

Anyway, I'm sure that it won't be long until it's January again and people got back to their usual selves unlike the crazy pandemonium they have turned this city into. It's over for now. But next year, I must make sure to plan ahead and avoid all this mess.

Enjoy the holidays, everyone! =)

(thank) Fully Recovered

I thought I'd do a little update on my life. Never had the time to do this but here goes.

A year and several months ago I did something really stupid and lost a bagfull of items including a Macbook. That was one hell of an experience. I was devastated but decided (for lack of a choice) to move on with my life trying to convince myself that although I will surely miss my computer, I would be able to recover.

I was in the middle of my usual after-work-lazying-around a few hours ago when it hit me. The time went by so fast that I was not able to appreciate everything good that has happened to me since that experience. I was too busy not caring for people. I was too consumed by the future and lack of certainty. I was caring too much for things that I shouldn't have in the first place and it is sucking the life out of me. I was too engrossed with challenges at work that I failed to notice how better I have become since "the day."

Looking back, I now appreciate what happened. It would most certainly not land in my "Things I Have to Do Again" list but I now realize and appreciate how far I've come from then.

Right after the Macbook loss, I decided to invest in real estate. I bought a condo unit as a kind of an obligation to myself and my future. I wanted to invest in something that is secure and is part of a long-term investment plan. Bottomline, I wanted to be forced to save money and I have.

Right about the time my computer got stolen, I was doing okay at work. I was doing my day-to-day routine and I was fine with it. I was coming to work, going home and that's it. I decided to move to another company and has been learning important leadership skills since then. In January, I will take on a leadership post.

Oh, and I am writing on a new notebook and loving it. It's an HP Pavilion DV6 1355dx: 4GB RAM, Intel Core 2 Duo, Windows 7, 500GB SATA HDD, 15.6" display, lightscribe, WLAN-B/G/N, full-size keyboard, and one sleek design. I never thought that I would be happy with a PC coming from a Mac but I guess never say never cause I would trade my old Macbook with this in a heartbeat.

If there is anything that I have learned from all these is that it doesn't matter how bad things go in life. What matters is how we overcome it. I know that there will be more surprises in life ahead. I'd say bring it.

I'm recovered.

Some Days I'm Just Sad

I just knew I had to write something. Anything. Today is one of those days. Days when you feel awfully sad for many reasons. A lot has been going on in my mind lately and there are more vague areas in my life right now than ever before. Work, school, and personal stuff. They all hate me. I hate them. Gotta learn to live with them.

I know I gotta focus on the nice things in my life right now. Opportunities, friendships, family, art.

I just don't get how some people do it. =(

The Sweetest Downfall and Other Stories About Rome or Somewhere in Italy

The enticing devil marked beauty with his name. He's got a pretty face. I can share. I was growing wings when they caught me catching them. I fell straight to the ground. He is the sweetest downfall. He's got a pretty bee hind. I can share.

Meanwhile the leader of the mongols was getting ready for a flight to a place with no name. He wants to have coffee with the fallen angel, aching they agreed. He's got a pretty stomach. I can share.

Quitting!

Slowly but surely, I committed myself of ridding smoking for good. I am still in the cut-back stage. I have dropped down my consumption from 20 to just five sticks per day starting this week.

Next week, my goal is 1 stick per day. I'll tell you all about it soon. Ciao!

OUTRAGED!

There are just so many things that I can take in this world. What do you do when you can't take anymore?


FUCK!

Blah blah

I'm hooked.

Just about the point you're convinced that perfection doesn't exist, a person comes along and makes you reconsider.

Just like the concept of perfection itself, it is never truly comprehensible. You approach it with logic but somewhere along the way, you lose all rationality and you engage in a dangerous pursuit of subjectivity and pick up a myriad of constructs while you're at it. When you're face to face with perfection, you really just have a couple of choices.

You can choose to explore it, enumerate the hundreds of ways it became (and retains the quality of being) perfect.. Looking it straight in the eye, you almost can touch understanding. You become an unstoppable set of interrogation looking for retort and it will be too late once you realize it's just futile. You have been consumed by the very concept you we're looking to recover.

Or you could always look from afar, a safe amount of distance from it and enjoy its beauty. Not demanding anything from it, you aestheticize on it's existence gingerly noting every structural component that warrants its incomparable, almost superhuman quality. The distance keeps you safe but the distance also keeps you detached.

Once in a while you encounter a person whose existence can be a good argument for perfection itself. Whether you find yourself consumed or detached, perfection is one concept you will never fully understand nor fully get over. I would just accept that.