Angsty Lately

I must admit. I have been very irritable lately and I feel it's not going away. It's a general unfeeling for people, things and events. I can't explain it. I have never been this way before and it's weird cause I'm very aware of it.

I guess this must be my defense mechanism against pressure which I have been having a lot of lately. I feel like I need to just shut myself out from whole world and not care, hoping that when I revive myself all will be fine and dandy. Which, by the way, is rarely the case.

I am going to try to start this week right and try to start talking to people more. Get a feel of how they are, be more appealing to people, get to know their sentiments without really trying too hard to come up with a solution for everything. I need to remind myself more that I just need to do what I can and accept that there are things that are completely out of my hands.

Maybe I'm a control freak. Maybe I want everything done a certain way and if I don't get it done, I'd feel frustrated and stupid. Maybe that's where all this unfeeling is coming from. I need to snap out of this soon lest I be like one of those people who only exists to torture others by sending bad vibes all the time.

Snap!

First Blog

Jan 4. New week, new quarter, new year.

So my friends and I met last weekend and decided to take a trip to Sagada by February. I always knew that I'd be back. The first time I was there I swore to get a house there once I can afford it. I still can't afford it but it would be nice to rekindle that feeling of genuine love for the place. It's one of the few places in the Philippines I would want to spend my dying days in. The way I remember it is just magical. I visited Sagada back in college with my Anthropology class and we had the best time. We scheduled the trip to coincide with the town fiesta and people were just everywhere. I admire the small town ambience of the place. I also remember the smell of the town.

So I'm pretty psyched about that. My friend Lene would be leaving to work in another country anytime within the first quarter so we really have to make our scheds work and do an out of town trip soon. I will miss her.

I feel like I missed the holidays. It went by so fast that I was not able to actually feel the holiday spirit except for the part where people were crazy shopping for gifts. That's that.

I have tons of things to think about this year. I really need to start clearing out my room of stuff I don't need. I need to get on the treadmill more. I need to be more organized and focused on tasks. I need to learn how to manage my money better. And most of all, I need to get back on track with my MA. Come to think of it, with this amount of things to think about, this year may very well just go fly out the window before I even recognize it. Crazy.

Well, I need to start on it. Getting my haircut today. Going to work tonight. Oh, and I promise to do more blogging this year. =)